The Last Stop Cop Shop

Ever miss your stop on the train because you slept right through it? Either from too much work or too many drinks you find yourself waking up in Coney Island? You might even notice a few things whenever it happens. An MTA worker sweeping out debris or maybe a homeless person or two sound asleep. Whether you're above or below there's usually some other grounds to notice. What might otherwise be called "The Last Stop Cop Shop."

Often times there's one or two designated officers who patrol the platform in order to protect NYC but, from what exactly? Suspicious packages that managed to make it to the end of the line? Beggars that are renewing their energy in hopes of soliciting more money from people at each stop in the opposite direction? Whatever "criminals" we're being protected from it often seems that they're more often chosen than they're actually discovered. It appears that one of the most common train violations is on account of those dreadful social misfits who occupy more than one seat at 3 o'clock in the morning. How dare these subway criminals pass out on a train in a city just as notorious for it's party lifestyle as it is for it's work. Can you imagine such careless neglect from people? Where is everyone else going to sit at 3 o'clock in the morning?

How many times have you ever noticed a homeless person sleeping over more than one seat? Whenever they're discovered by the police most times they're at least given a wakeful nudge or at most scolded. Yet whenever a white or blue collar has carelessly fallen into the same violation a prompt summons is in order. In the event that such a person is without proper identification at the time (such is the case with many of the homeless) than the law seeks justice with handcuffs and handlebars. God forbid such a person had work the next day, hard to imagine that a jail pass is as good as a hospital one.

From which point such mischievous criminals are handcuffed, processed, (emphasis on the following word) wait, and see the judge where the whole ordeal won't take anymore than a meek 12 hours to a subtly less meek 2 days (depending on where they're processed). As grieving as the whole mess may sound it should at least be relieving to know that according to the law, justice has been achieved.

So altogether, a working class violator is eligible for 2 days of food, a bed, and possible job termination for taking up two seats. Yet an unemployed homeless man gets a nudge. Why? Well this is a city where spiting is illegal and smoking in public parks and benches is about to become illegal. NYC justice doesn't seem too quick about wasting it's time with such questions.

The Midtown Community Court coaches a quality of life class that attempts to cure the community from social infections like double seat occupancy. When I asked one of the coaches about what else the city planned on doing to address the vice of such belligerent seat criminals I was assured that they were not criminals, that according to the law they were mere violators. When I asked a coach why such violators were then treated like such criminals it provoked a curious expression that wanted to know what was meant. Such an expression inspired a question of my own curiosity. "Is there some sort of special edition pair handcuffs that officers use to escort violators off to jail with?"